Introduction

What is Schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia is a very complicated mental illness, affecting how a person thinks. A schizophrenic may experience hallucinations and delusions. This means what they hear, see and believe might not be real. Schizophrenia is a chronic disorder like diabetes, meaning one person might be affected differently than another.

Most people do not have to worry about getting the brain disorder. Sometimes children get it which is very rare. Most people who get it, do so between sixteen and twenty-five years of age. The exact cause or causes of schizophrenia are presently unknown. Research has shown that genetics is involved.

The public is often afraid of and misunderstand people who suffer from schizophrenia. Furthermore, people who do not receive treatment from this condition can frighten other people, even their own family, because they are not in their right mind which isn't to say there is anything wrong with being mentally ill. Most people who have the mind disorder and are receiving care do not harm others. It is a brain condition that can often be treated with medication. If you are afraid, please do not be as it is only a condition like Parkinson's disease.

Sometimes movies affect how people perceive the mentally ill because they are portrayed in an unrealistic or atypical manner which isn't necessarily to say that some, possibly very few to be precise, have been or are like characters in the movies.

Being stigmatized in society is an issue a schizophrenic faces. When a mentally ill human being does something violent, and the news media covers the story, readers and viewers are often afraid because they do not know the fact that most people who are mentally ill do not harm others. In such instances, the news media rarely, if ever, explains the truth about mental illness.

A number of schizophrenia sufferers have their own career. Others live off of government and possibly family assistance. Some are in dire need of help as they are on the street. I cannot fathom what it is like being homeless and can only imagine what it must be like especially in cold weather.

What is Paranoid Schizophrenia?

Paranoid schizophrenia is a type of schizophrenia. It involves the person who has it being under the delusion that they are a victim of some type of persecution. I was once diagnosed with it and did not know I had it because I was under a grandiose delusion which involved persecution. People who are paranoid do not know they are doing something abnormal, at least in my case.

What is a Grandiose Delusion?

Sometimes people with schizophrenia are not aware they are mentally ill which is extremely serious. A grandiose delusion is a situation whereby someone who has schizophrenia believes they are someone extraordinarily special, as an example. I was delusional and didn't know I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia even though I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist for over twelve years, until I was about thirty-three.

What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a condition whereby a human being loses control over her or his ability to decide what is correct in such things as excessive cleanliness and especially for me, being overly polite (which at least some of which had to do with cleanliness). People who have it cannot help but do what they believe is right and appropriate behavior possibly with such things as excessive hand washing and cleaning hairs out of socks and other articles of clothing beyond reason. I might not know what it is like for other people to have the condition because we might have different symptoms.

Mental Illness and Me

Introduction

I am thirty-six years old and have been mentally ill ever since I was about eleven to fourteen years old, and possibly earlier. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia by a psychiatrist at almost twenty-one. I was under a grandiose delusion and didn't know I had paranoid schizophrenia until I was thirty-three. At the time or about the time I realized I had paranoid schizophrenia, I showed symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder which I didn't know I suffered from until a few months later. Today I am doing very well on medication which I take to control abnormal thinking which includes delusions, hallucinations, obsessions and compulsions.

Prodrome of Paranoid Schizophrenia

I was mentally ill before being diagnosed by a professional at almost twenty-one years of age. I recall incidents at eleven to fourteen years of age in elementary and junior high school whereby I said or did things I know or believe normal people do not do. To the best of my knowledge, and a matter of my opinion, I did not fit in with my classmates. I believe I had more symptoms when I reached about fifteen, from what I can remember.

At fifteen or sixteen, I began doing things that were clearly abnormal and inappropriate. It is a bit unclear as a long time has passed since I was in my teens and early twenties. Also, not very much is known about the prodrome of schizophrenia by professionals.

Diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenia

A psychiatrist diagnosed me in early 1992, close to twenty-one years old, with paranoid schizophrenia. Our family doctor had referred me to a psychiatrist after my mother brought me to see him. I had complained to my parents that certain people were after me and I might have explained that certain people did not like me. I still lived at home, which was fortunate as I was in dire need of help. I hallucinated and was delusional.

Even though I was seeing a psychiatrist and taking antipsychotic medication, I still did not know I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. I probably was doing what a number of delusional paranoid schizophrenic patients do by not telling my psychiatrist, family and the like the whole truth about what I was experiencing and feeling.

My family was tricked into believing I knew I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. They were very helpful to me in spite of the fact that they didn't know I was lying to them.

Not very long after being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I voluntarily dropped out of college from the University of Arizona which I attended full time.

Realizing I Have Paranoid Schizophrenia

For years I thought I knew better than my psychiatrists and more whom I lied to about how I was feeling and what I was experiencing. They did the best they could to help me with my schizophrenia and paranoia. If I did what I wanted I would never have lied to any of them about anything especially about the fact that I did not believe I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia.

My family has been devastated because of my paranoid schizophrenia which has taken a toll on all of them. I am still in the process of repairing those relationships which have been tarnished because of my actions. I didn't know I had paranoid schizophrenia until over twelve years later after an incident at a supermarket.

My current psychiatrist took me off of my medication because he thought I may have experienced merely a psychotic episode whereby I would no longer have to see a psychiatrist again until after making sure I didn't suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. A psychotic episode is when a person experiences symptoms of schizophrenia but only for a brief time. He did his best by trying to take me off my medication and my father and I agreed wholeheartedly. I had already stopped taking my medication for some time as I didn't get a refill in between psychiatric visits with him because I didn't have any refills left or a prescription. Before that, my father and I had tapered me off some of the medication without either his or possibly my previous psychiatrists' sanction, I don't recall.

Realizing I Have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

I only learned in late December of 2004 that I suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder whereby I want to be overly polite (which at least some of which had to do with cleanliness) and excessively clean. I showed symptoms at about the time I realized I had paranoid schizophrenia.

My Recovery

I still am in recovery and might not ever get all better. Could I be able to move into a place of my own soon? I am trying to recover, however am unable to help myself as I rely on the medicines I take to make me all better. Of course I'd like to be cured, but to date there is no cure.

References

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. Understanding Schizophrenia: What You Need to Know About This Medical Illness, Brochure. With editorial input from the National Institute of Mental Health. N.p., n.d.

Torrey, E. Fuller. Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers. 5th ed. New York: HarperCollins, 2006.